I lost my energy. I lost it at school, I lost it inside.
Lately I can’t bring myself to do the things I love. I learn. I sleep. I learn. I sleep. That’s it. Every time I have some spare time in between school and learning all I’m able to do is laying in bed, watch videos or hear music instead of drawing or photographing.
Every single week I set myself goals, to do yoga, to write, to blog, to draw, to just do the stuff I normally love but every single time I can’t achieve these goals.
Something inside is holding me back. Surely my phone, the internet (and of course my fav youtubers :/) do have an influence on this feeling but still, it’s me, my decision to waste my time.
It makes me sick that I can’t get my (sorry!!) shit together. Putting all my energy into school and “Abitur” makes me so tired and I don’t even to go out on weekends anymore, just stay at home and do nothing.
I’m privliged to be able to enjoy education but honestly I’m so looking forward to finish school in May and finally take a break. I hope after May I’ll be able to chase my dreams, my hobbies, my visions.
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